Site icon The WTF Trimester w. Chelsea Skaggs

What is coaching and when should I work with one?

One question I get often as a coach is what is a coach? And honestly when I started my business I struggled with finding the right word for what I offer. I’m still not sure if “coach” is exactly on point but I want to tell you what this experience can look and feel and sound like.

What is a Coach?

Other words that I find myself using are guide, usher, mentor.

Coaching is having an outside person who has experienced many of the things that you’re going through and can help you move through the waters with more ease and confidence.

This doesn’t mean I know everything and I am going to tell you exactly how to live your life.

This does mean that I am an outsider who is experienced both in my own personal journey of motherhood and marriage and I have worked with numerous other moms and couples to guide them on their journey. This allows me to give you a safe, purposeful, structured, and empowered space to process the changes you’ve been through and the future you see for yourself.

What Are Coaching Sessions Like?

In our coaching sessions, we have a mix of structure and flow. There are some main themes that impact every big life transition that we spend time digging in together. There are also things that are going to be unique about you or you and your partner and we make space to weave that into the process.

You can expect our sessions to be an hour long. This is a video chat and we are constantly checking in on your big picture goals, your day-to-day goals and growth, and the themes we’ve set out to work on together. For some this means breaking the argument patterns and resentment in their relationship. For others this may be unlearning all the “shoulds” of motherhood and finding your own best life and acceptance.

I provide my clients with this space to talk through and explore what’s going on in their lives (the talking it out is helpful) as well as a place to get feedback and strategies to try (but I don’t leave it there, at talking it out. I give you tangible, practical things to try and use to improve your life.) *I often get clients who tried talk therapy and left feeling frustrated about not having tangible tools to try. I always give you a focus tool or conversation to move your forward.*

Coaching Between Weekly Sessions

Between the weekly calls, we touch base using email and/or a voice message app called Voxer. This is something that sets these coaching experiences apart from other weekly check-ins. You don’t have to wait until the appointment a week later to work through an issue or new thought.
Did you wake up feeling self critical and dealing with doubts?
Then we get to talk about it in real time and put our work to practice.
Are you and your husband caught up on a tough issue and struggling to communicate?
Then we can chat back-and-forth and identify some potential patterns and misunderstandings so that you can reach the resolution.

Coaching with me means you’re not doing this alone. I strongly believe that we are meant to have more organic community and that is how many of our ancestors got through marriage and motherhood. However, as our society has drastically changed, parents particularly have paid the price for not having enough support outside of the home. As much as I would like to see our entire society shift and to have more built in supports, I honestly don’t see that happening and I know that coaching can fill that gap for many parents and couples.

My Professional Background as a Coach

Sometimes I get asked about my background so let me share a bit about that.

I’ve always been intuitive to other peoples experiences and a friend that people are concerned too. In college, I pursued a degree in psychology and sociology, finding myself fascinated by both the ways our brains work on an individual level and the ways we operate in order to follow society and groups.

From there I thought I would go on to receive a masters in marriage and family therapy. I thoroughly enjoyed the counseling classes I took in college, but I quickly realized that clinical settings were not for me. I believe in them and I use them personally, but my gifting is not in a clinical structure.

I found life coaching as an alternative to marriage and family therapy. While there are many things that overlap, I find that coaching specifically removes labels and a focus on healing the past (although that does of course come into conversations) and instead has a very growth and future focused orientation.

I get to help my clients put aside all the distractions and layers of expectation that build up over years, and get really clear about who they are what they want and what it takes to live a fuller and more enjoyable life.

Why Life Coaching for New Parents?

After spending a couple of years in more general life coaching, I quickly came to realize that new parents are my calling. I believe that new parents are under supported and we don’t talk enough about the weight of the transitions that come with adding children to the family. Yes, I believe it’s an absolutely beautiful and incredible thing. And additionally, I believe that this season requires more insights and skills and expansion and that is often not talked about. When you become a parent you start to see life and yourself in a whole different way and having a coach allows you to confidently explore that.

I also believe that our future depends on having stronger families. To that point, I believe that stronger families come from a strong and cohesive parental unit. This is why my work is centered on helping parents find clarity and confidence in connection with themselves as well as with one another. It doesn’t mean that it’s going to become picture perfect or blissful, but it means that we inject more respect, communication skills, meaningful connection, and personal and relational confidence and this benefits everyone especially the kids we are raising.

Explore Working with Me as a Coach

Some of you will read this and be like “YES I KNOW THIS IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN NEEDING, SIGN ME UP NOW!” and some of you will still have questions before making a decision to invest time, money, energy, and vulnerability into someone else.

Either way, the next step is to have a quick phone chat. This is not committing you to coaching, but us getting to talk and continue exploring the opportunity. On this free 15 minute chat, you might say “Hey, I’m in, what’s next?” and I’ll walk you through the steps to securing a coaching spot (if available) or getting on my waitlist (when applicable.) You might say “I have a few more questions” and if that’s you, I’m here to answer them and make sure you have all the information you need to make the right decision for you and your family.

I don’t bite and I don’t believe in pressured sales. I know this is powerful work for those who are ready and aligned and I don’t try to persuade you if you’re not in that place right now.

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